Dear Crazy Neighbor...

I get a Christmas card today in my mail box...

And what do you know... it's from our gem of a neighbor.

It's addressed to Sam Phillips & Wife (She concentrates alot on Sam apparently and can't remember my name but I know hers)...

It's says...

Dear Phillips, Wishing you the best.

p.s. Would it be ok if your dog not bark and cry? Please put him in the house at night.

I swear to you, no joke.

So if I could write her back this might just be how it goes....

Dear V$#@!,

Hi! Merry Christmas. Have a wonderful holiday.

p.s. Would it be ok if you could find another neighbor on our block you could borrow money from. I mean, we say no all the time but you keep asking. It's getting kinda awkward. And would you also mind picking that same neighbor to open your wine and champagne bottles too. We can't always be your bartender. And could you possibly stop coming over asking my husband for random favors while I'm not home (which you seem to conveniently notice before jumping out of the bushes to come over)And one final thing, would you mind asking someone else to give you rides when you don't have your license due to some random event in your life. And would you mind not making me, Zoe, feel guilty for saying no to you. And could you work on not being so weird too? It would help us out alot. Have a good one.The best.

p.p.s Our dog sleeps inside. Thanks for the reminder anyway.