A Lesson

There was this young, naive girl once that I knew. Very self absorbed but very sad. The story I am about to share serves the purpose of not telling the story itself but more so the message within it. The pull on your heart when God wants you to MOVE.
I don't know if anyone reads my sister-in-laws blog(The Collazo's) but after this happened to me last night I couldn't help but think of the pull on her heart she so vividly described in her post. The same tug I was about to feel for these 2 people I didn't know at all.
Please bear with me as I am not the writer. I will try my best to tell this story.

I had ran out to grab some ribbon for Bay's Halloween costume @ Beverly's when I walked in, the place was buzzing.I don't know why this shocked me the night before Halloween. Duh right?! So I cruise around finding little things I need (and don't need) when I stop and catch myself staring at this mother and her teenage daughter. The daughter is basically throwing a temper tantrum while screaming at her mom with the most hateful language I have heard in a long time. I say long time because maybe what more so caught my attention was how familiar this scene was for me.

I was that girl almost 15 years ago in Macy's department store with my mom. Flipping out on her about how cheap I thought she was not to buy me the bikini I wanted. Screaming at her how I hated her and wanted to leave and also threw in there how she could just stay home for my 8th grade graduation coming up while I was at it. Hateful, fowl mouthed ungrateful girl I was. I later read in my mom's journal about her recollection of that day and she wrote and I quote,'Andria said she hated me today. I think I died today'.

So this scene last night,a s you can imagine, stirred my heart so many ways I immediately wanted to escape. Either that or just walk over to this punk girl and smack her like her mom should be doing at this point. So I walked away. Far away. Around and down every aisle until I eventually came back to the same part of the store to have my ribbons cut. What do you know, they were still there. In the same conversation. Uggggg, now I am thinking, is this a joke? Am I supposed to say something Lord at this point? As I tried to find another aisle to hide in until they were gone, they venture into the neighboring aisle next to me. What is this? I am obviously trying to get away and I am not being successful at it. Just then crouched down in this isle I hear silence. I literally say, Thank God! Grateful the harassment of this poor mom is over. I look up to see her fly out of the store. Where is the girl? She didn't follow so quickly. As I walked out of my hiding place to inspect the damage, the young girl in slowly walking toward the door, past me, making eye contact and leaves out the front of the store.

I have never felt so compelled to say something to a perfect stranger about their personal business before in my life. And I know how inappropriate it is to do so. I am a mom too. People say inappropriate things to me all the time. I get it. I bit my tongue as she walked by and went to the line to have my ribbon cut. Just as well, at this point I wanted to puke. Really, I was deep breathing at this point.

So about 10 minutes later, after paying and having this whole scene I just witnessed replay in my mind over and over, I was glad to be leaving Beverly's and heading home. I would be safe there, I thought, from this nightmare.

But I knew, in the pit of my stomach God was harder at work that I anticipated. On my way to my car, I see the mom and daughter in their car, still in the parking lot........ Are you kidding me? Why are they still here? Now I am literally hearing God's gentle voice like He is walking with me at this point. And I am dragging my feet and hoping what He is having me do isn't intrusive, weird or just plain stupid. I can not believe what I am about to do at this moment.

Now for those of you who know me, I am not your Supa Dupa spiritual type. I am more practical. God has been good to me this year. You can say I had a spiritual awakening back in Jan. and ever since, through many trials this year, have been taught amazing lessons by Him. He has definitely been faithful. I am a silly girl for ever doubting that.

So I throw my little bag into my car, take a deep breathe and walk over to the mom's car. I have no idea what I am doing. All I know is that I felt like someone, something had a hold on me to do it. Whatever 'It' was. Go!

I knock on the driver's side window and the lady opens her door, tears streaming down her face now. I smile and begin to say how sorry I am and I normally never to do this but I had to and I didn't know why. I say to this obviously broken hearted woman, ' I just wanted to say you are a good mom and I don't think you deserved that kind of talk in there that I heard from your daughter.' And I look over at the young girl and before I knew it my heart went out to her almost more than the mom. I say to the girl,' And I don't want to talk about you like you aren't here either. But it just broke my heart the way you were talking to your mom back there (insert my tears at this point) and I am sure you are a good girl and love your mom but I lost my mom at your age and I sounded just like you and I can't apologize for that anymore. And now I'm a mom and I would just die if my girls ever talked to me that way. Just die. So I just want you to know your mom loves your more than anything in this world and I just hope and pray you think about the words you use next time. I'm sorry again for butting in, I never do this, I swear. Have a good night.'

And then I ran back to my car and drove off as fast as I could. Hoping I did a good thing for them and obeyed God. Because really, I just don't do that kind of stuff. And really didn't even want to. But God compelled my body and spirit so much that I had no other choice. I know how sensitive mother/daughter relationships are, I had one. And I just hope that whatever they heard last night was gentle and leads them to Christ. The lesson for me was Obeying. And being sensitive to the Holy Spirit working. My life can be so loud sometimes that I don't hear it as much as I would like to.
p.s.(My mom never came to my graduation that night and it is one of my deepest sorrows to this day. And one of my personal goals in this new life God has so generously given me is to best represent the woman my mom raised.) And maybe that is why I felt so compelled to share this story and why my heart is so big and soft for the dynamics of mother/daughter relationships).
Have a great weekend. God Bless