Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,

Happy Belated. I miss you so much. You have no idea. Especially lately. I feel like I have so much to tell you and can't get it out fast enough. I really need you here right now.I just need my mom sometimes you know. I pushed you so far away for so many years and I am so sorry. I was so mad. You were right, I was so mad. But not for the reasons you probably thought. I was mad that you were dying. I had all these friends who had mom's watch them grow up, see them through their lives and I knew you knew that was not our destiny as mother and daughter.

I wish you could see the girls. They are a kick. I wish I could see you laugh with them. Play with them. Just be with them. I think you would think Bay looks like Rinne. I do.

I just want you to come and hang out with me. See my life and who I have become. I miss you mom. really. I don't even know what it is lately. I feel like I am wiggin out.I miss what your voice sounds like. What you smelled like. Who you were to me. It never goes away mom. A part of me doesn't know who I am without you in my life. I mean you are my mom. What do I do? I write this like I am going to get some kind of answer. like you will somehow comment me. I wish.

I just wanted to acknowledge you and what you mean to me. Because I love you always. And you would be 48 this year. Woohooo.

I love you mom and this is one of my favorite pictures of us, you look so happy and I love that.