Left my heavy heart in San Fran

Some pictures of our old hang out in SF. (From top to bottom)UCSF hospital, the very familiar parking garage,9th St. where we lived in the 4 story Family house and the famous sandwich shoppe Sam found(of course) that would always be a nice retreat and meal for the both of us. And a small vid of where we would spend the most of our time in the NICU.

After many months of praying for guidance about Baylie-Shaye and her 'episodes', we made it to UCSF for a visit to the neurologist. What a complete trip it was to be back in a place with such emotion and memories for me. Aside from the fact that I am sensitive anyway, this place has history for my family and especially me as a mom. Carys was brought here just 8 hours after she was born and we lived here for 6 weeks thereafter. Watching and waiting to just go home. I started welling up with tears just driving up to this place. It took me along time to move through the things we experienced up there. It was for me nothing specific. My world was turned sideways when I arrived. From Carys been here, going through her surgery,living here in a family house and not bringing her home like I anticipated, watching her be poked, watched, taken care of by perfectly capable nurses, but not me. It was for me the hardest thing to leave at night and go somewhere else to sleep. It took a part of my motherhood away then.I was a walking zombie. But I formed irreplaceable friendships with other parents there that will last a lifetime. And you are given a gift of just a unique perspective on just how precious life is here. In the moment for some of us. And you make the most of it.It's all you know how to do.

It's funny how I almost miss the camaraderie of that place. We were a family there. We lived there for a moment in our tiny lives. And for some reason I think it was one of the best times in our life. We were fortunate to go home 6 weeks later. And the memory of being there will always be vivid.

With all that said, onto Bay. Her neurologist was awesome. On top of listening to my every word from the very beginning to the present time, he was no more eager to put her back on meds than Sam and I were. I explained she had continued improvement with her speech and interacting with others since we took her off meds and she had had not one 'episode' for approx. one month. She has also been seeing Shawn (our bro-in-law) and started getting adjusted about 2 1/2 months ago with amazing results.He was confident it is not epilepsy and gave us great advice for the future. Bay was great too. She is not easily warmed up to people but she let the doc pick her up and check her from head to toe. She just stared at him the entire time. To make sure he stayed in line of course.

I seriously took the deepest breathe, cried and thank God that things have improved and that a doc actually listened to me for once. I don't feel like a crazy mom anymore. Vindicated!

Thank you to everyone(family and close friends who called and prayed). God is so good to us. Yeah for Bay